Varacchi’s Concert Etiquette – Rules To Live By

I was at the PNC Bank Arts Center on Friday to see Incubus & JimmEatWorld (yes, I know, it's not classic rock, I'm allowed to have outside interests).

My wife and I met with a couple friends, we all had lawn seats, so we just wanted to have a chill evening. Incubus has matured and mellowed out over the past few years, and JimmyEatWorld isn't a moshing band, so we figured the lawn would be fine.

We didn't run into any danger with pits forming, but we did have an issue with the group of shirtless bros who spent the ENTIRE show on their phones. I get that we all like to take pictures, maybe some videos, share them to Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat/whatever. It's a way to preserve the memory, a way to humblebrag that you were at the show. But what made their actions worse was that they weren't even sharing pictures of the concert, they were just doing group selfies! They also had full conversations, you could see them snap out a picture, then a minute later get the phone out and read a message, then snap back another picture. For the duration of the show. Why pay to go to a concert at all?

Here are my rules for proper concert etiquette:

- Phone are okay for the aforementioned reasons; it's nice to share a few pics or vids, but full-on chatting is prohibitted.

- Also regarding phones, don't take or make calls. You're at a concert. It's loud. You won't be able to hear the person on the other end, they won't be able to hear you, and I don't want to hear you screaming "WHERE ARE YOU? WHAT? I'M ON THE LAWN. WHAT? WHAT?" In this scenario, just text them.

- Keep your clothes on. It rained on Friday so the decision seemed to be made that rather than stand around in wet shirts, these guys all stripped down to the waist and bro'd it out. I don't want to see your angel-wing back tattoo all night.

- I know that every member of every audience won't know every song by every band...but don't scream the same song request over and over and over just because you want to hear it. Addendum to this rule: if you're on the lawn at PNC, just don't yell at the band. Even if your entire group is yelling the same thing, they won't hear you, it's not even enjoyable in an ironic sense, and it annoys everyone else around you.

- Don't throw your empties around. Seriously, I can't believe how many times I saw an empty beer can land near me. Don't be a dick, man.

I don't know how much of this makes me sound like a grumpy old man, nor do I know exactly when I turned into the grumpy old man at a concert. I just know that for whatever reason, I always end up near some d-bag who ruins the live music experience for me.

/end rant

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