I have long had a fascination (some might call it an obsession) with Yelp reviews. But not just any reviews...I'm talking about the most delusional, the most baffling, the most downright frightening of them all...Yelp fast food chain reviews. And I'm not talking about reviews of the chain as a whole, no sir. I'm talking about specific reviews of specific restaurants. Anyone can have a general idea of a place's quality, but we've got folks giving 2 and 3 star reviews! That's dedication! We owe the people who are writing these a tremendous debt of gratitude. They're taking the time out of their day, sacrificing time spent with spouses and children, risking it all...just to provide you, Joe Q. Consumer, with their opinions on a restaurant who's entire business model is built around being exactly the same as every other restaurant of its kind. In celebration of these true American heroes, here are some of Top Fast Food Restaurants in Toms River and it's surrounding areas. This one's for my Grammie, who insists to this day that the Olive Garden in Toms River is the "best" Olive Garden "in the world."

The Route 70 Chick-Fil-A (4 Stars)

Choice Positive Quote: "This kale salad is Everything!!"

You heard the lady, everything. Her hopes, her dreams, her wants, her fears. All summarized by the Bricktown Chick-Fil-A's kale salad.

Choice 1 Star Quote: We never intentionally tried to "cut" in front of anyone! This so called manager handled the situation terribly. Made us feel like criminals! We will NEVER go back!!!!!!!!

100% this person meant to cut in front of people.

The Hooper Ave/Brick Blvd. Roy Rogers (3.5 Stars)

Choice Positive Quote: "I didn't order fries but i saw some in another tray and they looked good."

This person isn't just reviewing their own food, they're reviewing yours too! I'd like to note that this comes from a gushing, overwhelmingly positive 4 out of 5 star review. Perhaps Roy's could have gotten that 5th star if someone had offered this reviewer a fry.

Choice Negative Quote: "We've since filed a claim with our bank for a full refund and I've filed a report with corporate to investigate this locations management."

I'm sure this person is *very* nice and *extremely* well-adjusted and in no way would I consider them a clear and present danger to our national security.

The Route 37 Checkers (3 Stars)

Choice Positive Quote: "Paul our server was one of the best people we have ever dealt with big shout out to him!"

We live in uncertain political times and more than ever, need a unifier to lead us into a new tomorrow. I'd like to give my full throated endorsement to Paul from Checkers, one of the BEST people I've EVER had to deal with.

Choice Negative Quote: "One broken Oreo in the bottom of a shake isn't why I paid $1 extra- couldn't suck the dang chunks through the straw!"

Look, we're on the cosmopolitan East Coast. We're living fast and living hard. But we can't leave behind our visiting flyover friends who have never heard of a spoon before.

There you have it folks, 3 of the best area fast food restaurants as told through the eyes of the modern day Upton Sinclairs who make up the Yelp Intelligensia. We salute you!

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