A bagel is a bagel, right? A nice round piece of doughy heaven. Maybe you like plain, maybe you like cinnamon raisin, maybe you like onion. Maybe you like plain cream cheese, maybe you like veggie cream cheese, maybe you like butter.

Regardless of your bagel preference, we can all agree that bagels are sliced horizontally, right? Yes, you can tear a bagel in half vertically, but that's just if you want to avoid the gigantic carb intake (after which I usually end up going back for the second half anyway).

My point is, this is an abomination:


"BREAD SLICED BAGELS"????? What the hell is even that?

I can abide by green bagels for St. Patrick's Day, I can abide by Rainbow bagels, I can abide by birthday cake cream cheese - but I cannot abide by that monstrosity.

Bagels are a source of pride for New Jersey and New York, and if St. Louis thinks they can just change the game and turn a delicious bagel into a thin slice of garbage, they better prepare for a culinary war.

Our friends at PopCrush collected some of the best reactions to this crime against food.

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