If Last Night’s Episode of The Real Housewives of Dallas Took Place at the Jersey Shore…
If you watched last night's episode of The Real Housewives of Dallas, you know it was a wild ride, but, I can't help but think how much MORE dramatic it would be if it took place at the Jersey Shore.
And, before you "at" me and say "Diana, there already is a Real Housewives of New Jersey," the new season doesn't premiere until tonight, so until then, enjoy this recap of The Real Housewives of Dallas with some reimagined Jersey flare.
The gang (Brandi, Kameron, Kary, D'Andra, Tiffany, and Stephanie) all hopped on board a party bus to Austin dressed as rock stars for Kary's 50th birthday trip. The girls were rocking tour shirts, and Brandi came dressed as Elvis, BUT you know if this took place at the Jersey Shore, we'd at least have one wife dressed up as Springsteen and one as Bon Jovi. And, instead of Austin, they'd all be going to rent a house in LBI.
When the Dallas Wives got to Austin, the bus couldn't turn into the rental property because it was too big, and they were forced to walk a half a mile in high heels. That would NEVER, I repeat NEVER happen here at the Jersey Shore. No. Our pretend Jersey Shore wives would either demand transportation or call their husbands down to drive em in because we Jersey Girls know how to get stuff done.
Then there was the country-themed dinner where the wives played "Chicken S**t Bingo" (literally a chicken ate until it pooped on a number, and if you had that number, you won). No way in hell would anyone in New Jersey play that. First off, the dinner would be a good old-fashioned pizza night (and not like the one Tiffany had prior to this episode where she used crickets as toppings), and the ladies would OF COURSE play LCR!
And finally, the episode came to a peak when D'Andra and Kary had a blowout at the dinner table (basically, Kary overheard D'Andra calling her fake, and they had been having problems already). That definitely would happen here at the Jersey Shore, but with a whole lot more big hand movements and sassy one-liners.
Did you watch last night's episode of The Real Housewives of Dallas? Did you like my reimagined Jersey Shore version?