High Times at the Jersey Shore: What You Need To Know About Weed in NJ

We aim to serve our community. We aim to educate and to elevate. Sure, you've heard the fear mongering about legal marijuana. And you've heard the celebrating. But an education deals in FACTS. That's why I, a scientist, would like to present to you the first edition of Weed 101. The key types, the key questions, the key terms to replace "grass" with, cuz only weird old men say "grass" and even though you're a weird old man, you'd rather people not know that. Consider it your first steps into a wider world, a gateway if you will. Without condemning or condoning (WINK WINK), here's the Very Basics.

WHAT IS IT

There are three different basic types of cannabis strains: indica, sativa, and hybrids. INDICAS are the kind that make you feel very relaxed and tingly (they call it "indacouch" for a reason), SATIVAS are for your more social highs as it makes you a little giggly, a little creative, and most importantly, a little more able to tolerate other human beings. A HYBRID strain has some of both and is the most common. Most people when asked to describe a marijuana high describe indica effects: relaxation, "the munchies", pain relief, and a general sense of comfort with the world around you. Scary, right?

PRO TIP: When buying a hybrid, check for its percentage split (indica dominant or sativa dominant) to be able to better predict what kind of night it's going to be. Or day. I don't judge. Would recommend a sativa if its for the day, but what do I know, I'm just a scientist.

OK NERD, BUT WHAT AM I ACTUALLY BUYING?

Today, we'll look at three different ways to take your medicine (recreationally!): smoking, vaping, and eating.. SMOKING requires the purchase of what the kiddies might call "flower", but you might know it as marijuana, weed, dope, grass (weirdo), loud, hash, dank, ganja, reefer (seriously how old are you?!?), chronic, Albuquerque Turkey Jerky, or the green stuff. It's the plant. You smoke the plant. We'll talk all about the different WAYS you can do this in a later edition. VAPING requires the purchase of a cartridge of concentrated THC (the giggly part of the plant, not the plant part of the plant.) If you need help with the science of vaping, asking your 12 year old. EATING is not just purchasing one of these two and consuming it (though boy would it be funny if someone got confused and just made themselves salads with it), but rather enjoying how hard someone else worked at extracting the THC, making into a butter or an oil, and then cooking wonderful cookies, gummis, candies, cakes...anything and everything can be made into an edible with hard work and imagination.

Now that's not so bad, is it folks? Now you're ready to ensure that your children never EVER smoke marijuana by taking an interest in it yourself. Don't worry if you're still shy about it, I won't tell anyone that you were here. But be sure to come back next time. This was just a gateway post after all.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em.