9 Classic Wrestlers Who Would Be Awful Thanksgiving Dinner Guests
Many of us grew up in a house that opened its doors to friends, family, and even strangers on Thanksgiving. We’ve all had some crazy guests at the table over the years but it could have been worse. We can’t imagine what would have transpired if Jimmy Snuka and Roddy Piper started fighting over dark meat! Hide the coconuts!
In the grand scheme of things, Snuka and Piper may have actually been two of the more tame pro wrestlers to invite to Thanksgiving. Here are nine pro wrestlers you should never invite to Thanksgiving, unless you plan on taking out a second mortgage on your home or serving up your children for dessert.
Abdullah the Butcher
The bright side is that he will bring his own fork. The downside is that he may use it on your head. We love the Butcher but he may be the scariest looking wrestler in professional wrestling history. Our hunch is that the Butcher takes his turkey with the feathers.
King Kong Bundy
The larger than life Humpty Dumpty is available for your dinner or cocktail hour. The former WWE superstar has graduated from the pro wrestling rings to the world of comedy. However, his intimidating presence is nothing to laugh at. Look out for the avalanche!
Bastian is the only deceased wrestler that made the list. Our intention wasn’t to include dead wrestlers, but how can you write a list like this and not include the only pro wrestler in WWE history known for picking his nose on camera and enjoying it. He was a disgusting human horrific hygiene being who squeezed his 400 pounds into a little wrestling costume. Probably no worse than that crazy Uncle of yours right?
The Iron Sheik
One thing is for sure, Thanksgiving won’t be boring with the Iron Sheik at the table. The Sheik has made quite a reputation for himself outside of the ring in recent years for threatening rape and humility upon his former WWF enemies. Just make sure to double his portion of tryptophan.
Once again you’ll save on silverware as Kamala would most likely bring his own spear. Weighing in at over 370 pounds and standing 6’7”, this Ugandan warrior would be happy to not only show up and eat your turkey, but eat your young as well. Now to be fair Kamala has simmered down in his older warrior age and has taken up a side career as a nighttime singer. Imagine the entertainment! Make sure to keep an extra seat available for Kim Chee.
George “The Animal” Steele
Paint your turkey green and stuff him with foam and George “The Animal” Steele will be a happy man. The Animal is known as one of the craziest wrestlers in WWE history due to his psychotic gimmick and propensity to eat turnbuckles. A crush on the late Miss Elizabeth and attachment to a doll did soften the Animal in his later ring years but you never know which “animal” will show up when George Steele rings your door bell.
One Man Gang
Unlike most of the guys on the list, the One Man Gang isn’t listed because he is crazy. He is just one big man! At 6’9” and over 450 pounds, you may need to take a second mortgage on your house to feed this massive behemoth. Maybe he’ll show up as his alter-ego, the African Dream Akeem and offer you a dance routine that makes the investment worth every penny.
The Wild Samoans
These two wild men come in a pair, Afa and Sika, and may be the most unmanageable men on the list. Known for their fondness of raw fish and Hawaiian shirts, the Wild Samoans won’t offer you the same kind of great conversation as the Iron Sheik, but they are bound to scare the crap out of your mother-in-law. High risk, high reward!
We like to bring a pumpkin pie to Thanksgiving but the Boogeyman likes to bring worms and gyrate his way through a room. Just say his name and he will appear with what will likely be the most interesting of all desserts on the table. Your children may enjoy the constant repetition of nursery rhymes. On the other hand, they will probably need psychological help forever.