To Quote Or Not To Quote…

I'm one of those people who likes good quotes--both philosophical as well as witty--especially witty.  Some people hate quotes and some people love them and some people just despise people who quote other people and tell them so, hoping their own quote will be repeated and given proper credit. 

Some favorites:

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot.  And suppose you were a member of Congress.  But I repeat myself." ~ Mark Twain

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?" ~ George Carlin

"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." ~ Groucho Marx

I need to expand my list, so please share your favorites here...