Would You Hire This Drummer?
This is a real drummer-seeking-band ad from Craigslist.org, and maybe the greatest musician ad EVER. Also, due to language, very NSFW, so be warned.
Craigslist is full of musician ads, whether individuals are looking to join a band, or an established band is looking for a new musician. This might be the best of them all.
Real Rock Drummer for NON-pussy band (L.A.)
I do NOT play to a click track or backing tracks and GO SCREW if you think I’m gonna “tone it down a little, bro” so you can piddle away on your stringed sissy box. I WILL NOT play hotel cafe and don’t take direction from ninnies who live in their fucking parents basement and whack off to dreams of hanging with Jack Johnson and rapping about his “process”, you piece of shit. I am a real mother fucker with balls of steel and have a drumset that loves to be ass fucked mercilessly from behind and I need to join a band who understands that stage-sex is part of the fucking game, dude. So when I’m fucking the shit outta the kit, you can’t be the guy in the corner beating your limp, taffy dick wishing that you could stick your dick in too, NO! You get that dick hard and fuck the stage with me, pussy boy. I’m so sick of stealing the show and would really love to meet some real sons of fucking bitches who aren’t afraid to use a sweat band for its intended purpose: wiping off fucking sweat, cum, groupies, pussy juice, blood, etc.
Do not write me for reasons of sass because I will FIND YOU and shred your fucking face with my SHIT-STORMING DRUM GODLINESS!
Sign this guy up right the eff now! In case that argument wasn't convincing enough, he also attached a picture as proof that YOU NEED HIM.