Viking Apocalypse Predicted for Saturday
Just thought you should know and plan accordingly.
It’s a battle that will split the earth in two, but I’m not sure there are details on exactly where the split will occur, so give it your best guess.
Viking mythology apparently says the Norse Gods will have a really big fight and when they’re done trashing the world, only a man and a woman will be left to repopulate it.
Predictably, this has caused some people who clearly still live in their mothers’ basements to be stirred into a frenzy, and they’re planning to try to kick start this massive tiff.
According to myfoxphilly.com:
Believers in the United Kingdom will be holding a battle, called Jorvik, to celebrate or incite what they believe to be the inevitable.
Thankfully, the legend says that Jorvik doesn’t bring the entire world to a fatal end, but actually just releases spirits of the underworld into the mortal world.
Wait. This releasing of the spirits of the underworld is blatantly unnecessary: they’re already running our government.
Aaaannnnnd…I’m now on a government watch list.