The Happiest & Unhappiest States in America

Which states are most people happy or unhappy living in?

Yes, Colorado is among the happiest, duh. :-D

But it didn't capture the top spot, which you've already figured out because of the video above.

There's good and bad news for New Jersey, which means of course that we aren't in the top 10 happiest but at least we're not in the top 10 unhappiest.

According to totalnewswire.com:

The rankings were compiled by looking at more than two dozen factors, including weather, work and volunteer rates and emotional and physical well-being.

Here are states you under no circumstances want to live in unless you have no self-esteem:

10 UNHAPPIEST STATES

1. West Virginia: state motto: "Most Likely to be Raped in"

2. Alabama: state motto: "Banjo Capitol of the World" (also, see West Virginia)

3. Mississippi: state motto: 'Highest Number of Ripped Off Blues Musicians"

4. Arkansas: state motto: "At Least We've Got More Teeth than Other Southern States"

5. Kentucky: state motto: "Horsesh*t Capitol of the Country"

6. Tennessee: state motto: "Elvis & Music, Which Makes Us Cooler Than Everyone Else But Still Unhappy, Dammit"

7. Rhode Island: state motto: It's Not All About Size, You Jerks"

8. Ohio: state motto: "Chrissie Hynde Made Us Look Bad"

9. Michigan: state motto: "Bailout Capitol of the Country"

10. Indiana: state motto: "At Least We Have John Mellencamp"

If you're thinking of moving, check this list out (attention: if you're white, skip Hawaii).

10 HAPPIEST STATES

1. Utah: state motto: "Voted Happiest Because There are Only Two People Living Here"

2. Minnesota: state motto: "Cold. Very Cold. So Why People are Happy We Don't Know--They Like Cold?"

3. North Dakota:  state motto: "No One Can Find Us"

4. Colorado: state motto: "We Can Get You Rocky Mountain High, Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink"

5. Nebraska: state motto: "Corn, Which Creates Tortilla Chips, Which Makes Everyone Happy"

6. Wyoming: state motto: "We Have Wolves, But Not For Long"

7. Iowa: state motto: "More Corn Than Nebraska, So There"

8. Hawaii: state motto: "Happily Anti-White For 200 Years"

9. South Dakota: "No One Can Find US, Either"

10. Idaho: state motto: "Potatoes, Which Creates Potato Chips, Which Makes Everyone Happy"