Despite what their neighbors may tell you, there ARE warning signs that a person may be a sociopath. Cruetly to animals, lack of empathy, love of the show “Mad About You”…all of these things can be warning alarms that someone might end up with a family in their freezer. But there is another sign that no one talks about. A sign that only shows itself this time of year. What is it, you may ask? Come with me and I’ll you.
We’ve already talked about Christmas music this week…but we didn’t talk about any SPECIFIC Christmas music. Most of it, I have no quarrel with. In fact, I love it. It was a major part of my life growing up. When I was a child, Christmas music was about reminding me that Santa was coming, the holidays were a time to be happy, to try my DAMNDEST to be good around this time of year, and oh yeah its somebody’s birthday too, try not to forget. What type of person looked at that list of reminders and said “I like it…but its lacking a reminder that everything we love someday will die.” That’s right folks…I’m talking about that heaping helping of holiday tears, “The Christmas Shoes.” What is this all about? Why does this song exist? There’s nothing happy about it. Nothing uplifting. Its about a CHILD who is going to lose his MOTHER on Christmas. Am I supposed to be inspired by the singer’s selfless act of paying for the titular shoes? I mean its a nice thing to do and all…but it doesn’t change the fact that this is a CHRISTMAS SONG about SOMEONE DYING. Re-read that: “A Christmas Song about someone dying.” It sounds like a morbid MadLib, but it isn’t. It is something that actually happens and continues to happen on every Christmas music station around the nation. You could, theoretically, turn on your radio and hear the following sequence: “Zippy Spanish Christmas Song, Hilarious ditty about a Christmas Donkey, Song about someone’s MOM DYING, John Denver singing with the Muppets.” Don’t even get me started on the inclusion of a children’s choir singing the refrain. “OK kids…we really want you to capture the emotion of the lyrics here.” How MESSED UP is that?!? I’ve always hated when any form of entertainment…music, movies, TV, books….tries to force my emotions with heavy-handedness. But even I, as jaded as I try to be, can’t help but fall into a crippling depression when I hear this song. You’ll remember that earlier I said there is another warning sign for sociopaths. Go next door. Ask your neighbor if he or she likes this song. If they say “yes”…I’m willing to bet that they are a “quiet person” who “mostly keeps to themselves.” And I’m willing to bet that you should probably move the hell out of that neighborhood.