Missile Defense Agency Staff Loves Porn

Don't worry, citizen. Your tax dollars are at work. Hard at work.

Last week the Pentagon issued a warning to staff members of the Missile Defense Agency, directing them to stop browsing pornographic websites on government computers.

According to a Bloomberg report, incidents of defense computers being used to surf porn sites are widespread enough to warrant a memo from executive director John James Jr.

In addition to a blatant waste of government time and resources, the apparently fap-happy defense employees create a very real danger to the American people.

Adult websites are frequently riddled with viruses, spyware and malware. These insidious computer programs are used by hackers to obtain private information. For the Average Joe porn lover, that might mean his credit card number or home address. For a defense employee charged with minding the collective firepower of the United States military, it could mean far worse.

James vows that anyone found in violation of the rules regarding web browsing will face suspension or termination.