Let’s Talk Wieners

Independence Day is here, a day where we broke Britain’s chains once and for all and retained our position as the Land of the Free. Here in America, we have the power to make choices – the freedom of speech, the right to bear arms, and the freedom to decide on whichever brand of encased mystery meat our little hearts’ desire.

So what does your favored frankfurter say about you?

BALL PARK FRANKS

Hello, Mr. Popularity! You’re a crowd pleaser and a thrifty one at that. You know how to make the most people happy while still keeping your wallet (and your wife) happy. You never have a problem getting people to attend your barbecue.

FUN FACT: Ball Park Franks have been a vital part to American pop culture since their debut in 1959 as the sole supplier for the Detriot Tigers stadium.

NATHAN'S SKINLESS BIGGER THAN THE BUN

You are a winner! When you want something, by golly, you go out and get it! You are a natural competitor; your talent is simply effortless. The peons at your barbeque most likely look up to you, adore you, and wish they could even come close to your premium decision-making and grilling skills. You could also possibly be the smartest person in the world.

FUN FACT: Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest began in 1916 in Coney Island, Brooklyn, New York City. Rumor has it, the contest started as a way to settle a dispute among four immigrants as to who was the most patriotic. We found out in later years, six-time hot dog eating champ Takeru Kobayashi could have been Uncle Sam’s long lost twin.

SABRETT

The Sabrett frankfurter aficionado is not keen on change. You are laid back and reliable, and this demeanor certainly makes others feel comfortable. People gravitate towards you because they know exactly what they can expect, and you always deliver. Chances are, you’ve most likely been living or vacationing at the Jersey Shore your entire lifetime. Your mantra - If it’s not broken, don’t fix it.

FUN FACT: Sabrett Frankfurters are wheat and gluten free! Eat up, America!

HEBREW NATIONAL

You’ve been through your fair share of ups and downs, but you’re not going away. You know how to persevere in the face of adversity. Just like the Sabrett lover, you are unkind to change, but rather a little stubborn about it. You are pretty certain that you are the best. The people that like you, love you!

FUN FACT: Unacceptable! Hebrew National meat is not “glatt kosher” and therefore inconsumable for the majority of Orthodox Jews at your barbecue.

TOFUDOG

You accept that life is full of tough decisions, and sometimes, you need to sacrifice one thing for another. You are a happy hot-dog eater, yes you are! You know who you are, and you ain’t gonna let anyone tell you otherwise! Either that or you’re 105.7 the Hawk DJ Barbara LaRue.

FUN FACT: Worthington Foods' Veja-Link meatless wieners have the claim on being the world’s first vegetarian hot dog in 1949, but meatless sausages have been around since the early 1900s.

GRILLED, BOILED, OR NUKED? TELL US ABOUT HOW YOU LIKE YOUR WIENER!