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Getting To Know Your DJs: My Fears

Each day I, the handsome and talented Mike Krenek, will help you get to know me better. My goal is to tear down the walls of listener/DJ limitations and get to know each other intimately. Friend intimately, of course. Not intimately intimately!!! I don’t want you get the wrong idea about me. We’ll start the series with an exploration of my deepest, darkest fears.

I know what you’re thinking…a man like Mike Krenek knows no fear. While I may project the image of a ruggedly handsome, brave hero, some things in this world reduce me to a quivering, terrifed shadow of a man. Two things in this world have this effect: Ferris Wheels and goats. Ferris Wheels are horrifying contraptions. Some may claim that they are “fun” and “innocent”, but if your idea of fun is hanging helplessly in a horrifying contraption, basically a jauntily painted sardine can, you and I have very different definitions for the word. Everytime I’ve been on a Ferris Wheel, it inevitabely stops at the top for what feels like 40 minutes, mockingly swaying and giving me a scenic view of exactly how far I’d plummet if the rubber bands gave way. I can imagine you saying “OK OK Mike, I understand…but goats?!?! The Petting Zoo Garbage Disposal? How could anyone fear them?!” I’ll tell you how. As a child, I had a tramautic experience with a goat. When I was but knee-high to a grasshopper, my mother took my older sister and I to a petting zoo. She meant no harm by doing so, but that trip forever scarred me as a man. I was in my stroller, taking in the (slightly depressing) sights and (utterly offensive) odors, when suddenly one of those no-good, rotten goats began eating my mother’s shoelaces. “Look Mikey!” my sister exclaimed…”THAT GOAT’S EATING MOMMY!” From that moment forward, I’ve never trusted those cursed beasts. Everytime I see a goat, I wonder “Is he related to the one goat, my SWORN ENEMY from years ago!!!” I hope in reading this, you feel a little closer to me. I look forward our next appointment.

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