This Valentine’s Day, Conan is here to help. Last year, the late-night host launched a series of video F-cards, which you can send to your friends on Facebook. F-cards are a lot like E-Cards only, well, blunter. With Valentine’s just around the corner, Conan has unleashed a trio of F-cards to help you navigate this most tricky of days.

In the first card, Conan starts off by telling the object of your desire that this is a platonic Valentine’s Day card, and you just want to be friends. But once he has their attention, Conan uses his gift of gab to skillfully slip in hints that you’d like to make this relationship something more.

In the second card Conan won’t take no for answer. We’d only recommend this one for a potential Valentine who has a sense of humor, because Conan gets quite angry.

Finally, in the last card, Conan pulls a Leno and tries to steal your Valentine. Apparently he’s seen your beloved’s Facebook page and he likes it. Since you probably aren’t an Adonis with a nightly basic cable talk show and indestructible red hair, you might want to be careful with this card, too.

All three cards can be sent from Team Coco’s Facebook page.