5 reasons why leprechauns wouldn’t survive in NJ
It’s March and that means it’s the season for leprechauns to begin spreading their shenanigans across the land. Few mythological figures have been sought after and gain as much notoriety as much as leprechauns can. They have become synonymous with the Irish culture and are highly sought after for their pots of gold. While most of these fabled characters are beloved, there are certain leprechauns that cause havoc, stealing and borrowing, raiding bars and wine cellars, near and far and just causing overall mayhem. What many don’t know, is that while leprechauns may love to cause mischief, one place they don’t venture to is New Jersey.
The Garden State poses the greatest risk to our little friends and while the leprechauns may look to celebrate during the month of March, NJ isn’t their ideal stomping grounds. Here are five reasons why leprechauns wouldn’t survive in NJ.
1. The only little wrinkled person that causes mayhem has already taken residence.
Her name is Snooki and we somehow got stuck with her. If they want to take her back to Ireland, by all means, you can have her.
2. It isn’t quite the same atmosphere as Ireland.
Ireland has green grass and fresh air, we have Exit 13 on the Turnpike. The leprechauns may not be ready for the culture shock.
3. Pots of gold don’t last in NJ.
We have some greedy politicians in NJ and they will no doubt come up with a “Rainbow tax,” or a “cloverleaf occupancy tax,” or maybe a “mythical creature tax,” and before you know it POOF! The leprechaun will have a pot but they’re won’t be any gold left in it, that’s for sure.
4. Leprechauns are musicians? Yeah, about that…
While we can appreciate your musical talents, Jersey has some of their own musicians. They’re Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen, Frank Sinatra and Southside Johnny, just to name a few. You may have heard of them.
5. New Jerseyans fancy their alcohol even more than leprechauns.
There probably aren’t many times when a leprechaun has been bested in a drinking contest but New Jerseyans can hold their alcohol. While the leprechaun may able to put away a good share of pints, he’s never experienced trying to pound some drinks at some of the Jersey shore bars.